Is it true? Our relationships are becoming wide and shallow?

We meet more and more people and make hundreds of new acquaintances every year. But few develop into friendships. Even fewer into deep friendships.

Everyone is so busy with their lives. There are just too few opportunities to relate for much more (or much longer) than a hello. We really need to give relationships a little more time!

Another problem, easy to overlook, is that there are so few good places to carry on a conversation. Few places intimate enough for two people or even two couples to share any depth. Without those kinds of places, how do we make friends or even maintain friendships? I mean where are the quiet places where there are no interruptions or distractions from television, kids, traffic, crowds or music?

I suppose it’s just me, but I long for the day when there were high back wood booths that put a couple of cherry cokes (or better yet a pitcher of beer) between two or four people. And a soda jerk or waitress who respected privacy, but kept the drinks coming. Then we could talk!

I favor the pitcher of beer. What would you expect from someone who named their dog “Barley”?

Comments? email dennis@themilkmarket.com
This is my response to a post by Jonathan Fields, the Career Renegade, “Awake at the Wheel.” I have enjoyed his posts at www.jonathanfields.com/blog/

—I didn’t want to go. I didn’t feel like it. I wasn’t ready!
—I was not up for a run mentally or physically.
There were pressures. It was my day to run but there were too many things going on around me. Because time was short, there just wouldn’t be the freedom of an open-ended run. Not open to the time or distance of my choosing. Still, I had to go.
—Then I remembered. Attitude is everything!
The way I start a run determines what kind of run it will be. I have to get cranked up. To do that, I have to remember what it feels like NOT to run. And I have to remember all those who can’t run, even if they want to. My friend Jerry with his oxygen tank and COPD, for example.
—I have to remember driving along the freeway east of Livingston Montana, in the middle of nowhere, seeing a runner alone out on the road in the cold and wind. Free. I remember wishing I could trade places, if just for a few miles.
—It’s about the freedom. Being able to run in any direction, no one holding me back, no one pushing me. No restrictions. I love running for the freedom it gives me.
—So I have to remember to start with a “joyful” attitude. I am lucky. Even when I don’t have much time, I still have legs and lungs and a heart. Joy!

Everyone should have a dream.
For John it was to rap.
He had the moves and rhythm
And he knew how to wear his cap.
—He dreamed of girls and pals.
—He dreamed of wealth and fame.
—He knew that he could make it so,
—He quit school to make his name.
—–I saw him last at Macy’s.
—–He’s now called “Sixty Cents.”
—–In golden bling, he lives his dream,
—–Rapping Christmas presents!

—I imagine that when you think of Las Vegas you think of sin city, the strip, what stays in Vegas…gambling, shows, big stars and all the other things that make it an icon. Some of these are positive, some negative but let’s face it Vegas makes a good living out of being outrageous.
—I didn’t run the Las Vegas Marathon on Sunday, but the newspaper report of the event reminded me of how much fun a marathon can be. The headline “It’s Just A Rolling Party” says a lot. The Marathon ran the Las Vegas strip which was closed for the event. There were 27,500 runners counting both the full and half registrants. Apparently, runners were in every imaginable costume including showgirls, the expected Elvis, and couples in wedding dresses and tuxedos. 85 couples either married or renewed wedding vows at a run-through chapel on the course. Oh, and Elvis lives! He is running marathons.
—Las Vegas knows there is no profit in same old same old. A vacation, or even a week end getaway for a marathon has to be to something unusual. Outrageous fits the bill. I understand. Not everybody loves it, but everyone has to appreciate it. I wish I would have participated.

—Why do you run? Each of us has a different reason. The motives range from fitness to fatness. Health to weight loss and points between like vanity. Face it; until they get that emaciated death camp look, runners look good. For me, solitude is important. That’s why I usually run by myself.
—Solitude is followed closely by concern for my heart. In my time I have attended too many congestive heart failure patients. I would rather die with my running shoes on my feet. And, in spite of 40 years of running, I have had two heart attacks. So for me cardiac fitness is serious motivation.
—Whatever gets us on the road, the answer for many runners is LSD, Long Slow Distance. Long runs with your pulse in the training range, aerobic, are best for your heart and for weight loss.
—Training range is a pulse between 70 and 85% of maximum. Maximum heart rate is best determined by a stress test, but the rule of thumb is 220 minus your age. So if your age is 45 your maximum heart rate is 175. Best cardiac training would happen at between 125 and 150 beats per minute.
—Keeping the pulse in the perfect training range for a long time builds the heart’s stamina, strength and probably increases collateral circulation in the heart, increasing blood flow to the muscle. And in LSD running your body learns to burn fat instead of readily available carbs. That’s what you want!
—Trouble is, sometimes it’s hard to stay in that range. It’s natural to want to run faster, to be better, to go farther. And I have always suggested that we should run the way we feel. If you feel good running faster, go for it!
—Fortunately, the more fit you become with LSD, the faster and farther you will be able to run while staying in the training range. Patience, patience! Win, win!

I had a great run yesterday and I feel great today!

All that I am,
All that I have,
All that I will ever be,
I owe to the love and generosity
of Our Father.
Thank you.

—The worst running advice…I’ve ever seen…was in a newspaper article some years ago. It quoted a high school track coach with questionable marathon qualifications. He suggested that all marathon training doesn’t have to be at a run. Of course, you need to put in the miles, but some of it can be at a walk.
—What? What did you say?
—To give him the benefit of the doubt, he may have been referring to interval training. Yet interval training is far more structured than just slowing to a walk when you feel like it.
—The value of running intervals is undeniable, particularly if you are working on speed. But training to run a long race like a marathon requires teaching yourself to endure, to keep going, to keep running! That is, after all, the challenge. For most of us It is as much an endurance contest as a race.
—In 26 miles you may have to walk, depending on how well you have trained. But if you train that way, I KNOW YOU WILL HAVE TO WALK! Actually been there, done that!
—Don’t be fooled! If you are going to run a marathon or a half marathon and you want to be adequately trained, you will need to put on the miles. Without stopping to rest!

—I know. You are tired from a long day at work; either from physical labor or stress that seems physical. Up and down stairs, in and out of the car, running back and forth, busy all day, you believe that work keeps you in shape.
—Truth is, ever since childhood you have learned to make work easier. You have been trained to use the most efficient tools, to rest periodically, to take breaks, to get help, to work in teams and to use any creative means to minimize effort. You get the job done, but in a way that makes it possible to keep going hour after hour.
—Exercise is just the opposite. Instead of trying to minimize effort we try to make it harder. Whether to lose pounds or to gain strength, speed and stamina, we intentionally add weight, reps and miles, ever increasing the difficulty of the work-out.
—So we try to make work easier and exercise harder. That means usually one can’t be substituted for the other. Sorry.
The upside? When you understand that work is not exercise, you have to believe that exercise is not work! Be happy to lace up your running shoes and hit the road.

—Atrophy, it’s not what you get for winning the race! No, just the opposite. It’s what you get for not running at all.
—Recently I skipped running for a few days. Well, 3, 4 then six days. By day 6, my body ached. Muscles were sore. I know my age is working against me, but is it the flu? Did I catch the dreaded H1N1? Or, my gosh, maybe this is what it feels like to get really old!
—Anyway, I felt like something your dog drops in the park. That’s not good.
—But now, after my run today, I feel great. These muscles need to keep working, or they start fading away. And they don’t go peacefully. They let you know. I decided long ago, that it’s better to feel a little tired and sore from a hard work-out than to have the kind of pain that comes from doing nothing.
—It makes me wonder, are the aches and pains that some older people feel just the result of not doing anything? With aching muscles from atrophy, it’s hard for them to get started.
—There are times when you may not feel up for a run. Physically. Could it just be a little atrophy? Maybe a run is just what you need.

—As a past and sometime relay runner, I have to comment on the death of Jeremy Kunz in Henderson, Nevada last Sunday morning.
—Jeremy, age 32, and his wife Melinda were participating in the Ragnar Relay. He was killed while cheering for his team-mates. A motorist lost control of his vehicle, according to the Las Vegas Review Journal, and hit Kunz before it skidded and rolled over. The drunk driver (alleged) ran from the scene but was later arrested by Henderson Police.
—Family members were taking some comfort in knowing Jeremy died doing what he loved and didn’t want the race stopped after the accident. Race officials said there had never been a fatality in a Ragnar Race.
—We know, those of us who have run relays, that we take every reasonable safety precaution. But a drunk driver always has the power to destroy lives.
—Please join me in prayer and sympathy for the Kunz family and for Jeremy’s wife Melinda.